How do you do?

For when you want overthought answers to everyday questions.

It’s possible there will be a second installment. Possible.


Q: What’s up?

A: Before I can answer that, I must answer the question: What is up? It is a term used to describe what is above oneself, but anything above oneself can also be below due to the gravity of the Earth, and if we reach far enough to the assumed end of the universe, then we will loop, according to my theories, and everything up is also down in which case everything is up (or whatever heaven you consider to be real, if any); or upward, the direction of motion in an upward direction, such as “go up the stairs,” in that regard, I would say recently killed souls, floating in the only true direction of up towards an afterlife they believe in; or cheerful, what is cheerful, certainly not me, hopefully you, but I can say rather certainly that a cheerleader somewhere is probably cheerful at the moment; as in raised when talking about quantity, such as raised prices, or the stock, and I can say that at the moment, it is (up/down); up physically, not tired, opposite of being on depressants, awake and aware, in which case I wasn’t, but now I am since I am describing the concept of the word up; up to do something, ready, available, in that case I most certainly am because I need friends; a flavor of quark (subatomic particle with a fractional charge) of positive two-thirds; or finally (for now) Disney-Pixar’s 2009 film Up, about an old balloon salesman, Carl, who has the adventure of his life inadvertently with young Wilderness Scout Russell who stowed away on his house.

That’s what’s up.

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