hekkin reflectin (aka personal shit) pt 2

fuck pain hurts

especially when you know, like, you used to have something

and now

you don’t


i had



who cared

about me







so, person one today

why are they person one?

because they were first

i mean you’re not wrong

they were first, they made you feel special first, even if it was with a-1 at first. they were the reason it all started, even if things aren’t too emotionally bad now. but didn’t they say they were worse than they thought possible? even if it was relatively indirect, you still fucking hurt them. a lot. do they still care about you, you don’t fucking know. you don’t know shit, and you know you fucking hurt them in may. let’s be honest, they’re the main reason you are how you are, because you wanted more (and you kept wanting more, even from 2 and 2-g) and fuck dude they messed you up, even though you don’t want to admit it. 

but they didn’t mean to, and i didn’t mean to-

but it still fucking happened so what’s your fucking point

you swear too much

so what bitch i’m your anger, your rage at yourself. 

so what

so what

so what

so that’s what fucking happened i can’t fucking fix anything for you

well you’re me

fuck you

but like

hell, you tried, and you were so happy that night, what, April… 23rd?

sweet damn how the fuck did you know not like you’re me

not at all, you never express this side of you to anyone barely even to one and two

well, no, i did

not as much as you wanted to

got me there

so back to one, you can’t even reasonably talk to them even though they ended the end? whatever it was, it was ended a couple of months ago now and your feelings have barely fucking changed 

you expected them to?

no, and i shouldn’t have even hoped for anything out of you at all. you barely have anything in fucking common yet you’re still here, still there, still can’t fucking deal


fuck you

you already said that this time

there’s not as much to say about one without revealing too much since everything is detailed on the previous reasons, also they’re evidently pretty fucked up, and we’re not even gonna talk about the eat/sleep thing

not yet, you mean

yeah, not yet. these are probably gonna get shorter but more specific in the future.





that’s all for now, folks

again plz like so i know you read it

(hehehe maybe i’m not fine this time lol)





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